Running for a cause is stupid
Unless you’re running for a disease or atrocity that isn’t debilitating then you’re just showing off in front of all the sickies. You smug assholes who make matching t-shirts for the event and gather around Jane’s wheelchair to pray for her multiple sclerosis to go away, are just as quick to leave her in the dust as soon as the gun sounds. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to do 5Ks in front of people who will never be able to run again in their lives deserves a spinal chord injury. It would have been just as easy to create an event inclusive to those whose bodies make them best suited for stationary pursuits: “Poetry for the Cure” or like, fucking, “Coloring Contest for the Cure.” Or better yet, how about “CURE for the Cure?” Running can be the solution to a lot of things, cancer is not one of them. Instead of huffing and sweating for a cheap medal and a shitty band at the end (we all know what that money really goes to), how about we all put our heads down and start making potions out of household items until we come up with some shit that works?
What if the cause was for athlete’s foot?
I’d give a ton of money to charity if a gaggle of amputees did the running… (it is a “gaggle”, isn’t it?)