Expecting a Third Choice is stupid.
Here’s a game for everyone. It’s called, “Whom Do I Slap?” Give ten people a choice between Coke or Pepsi. You don’t even have to have the actual soft drinks, just give them this choice. And of these ten people, a reasonable margin will select Pepsi. Another margin will select Coke. And then they’re will be one or two people who will select Dr. Pepper. And those are the people you need to slap. And slap them hard, for about an hour or so. Even after your hand starts getting tired and sore, keep going. Because these people need you to straight them out, and have asked you to do so by deliberating being stupid in your presence.
It goes against the basic fundamental concept of the term “choice”, which is “Of these options given to you, select one.” Either/or. It’s fiendishly simple. Choose, numbskull. People don’t do this with directions. When they’re coming to a fork in the road that give them an option of left or right, do these fucknuts really try to go straight? Why aren’t there more auto fatalities for these people? Or at least make it a DMV question. “Which way do you go? Left or Right?” And if they select Straight, they get no driver’s license and everyone in the DMV gets five minutes at slapping them repeatedly. Wouldn’t that make going to the DMV far more satisfying?
It’s insulting to expect a third choice of your host in selecting something that is not being offered. “Would you like to have beer or wine?” “I’ll drink whiskey.” “Fine go get yourself, you cocksucker.” Slap. If you don’t LIKE your choices, then select NEITHER. Nil is *always* a choice, but EVERYTHING isn’t. Doesn’t work like that. Instead, we think we’re being cute by going outside of the rules. And for that….slap.
I think it might be an American thing, expecting to have more choices than are offered to you. This may be why the rest of world thinks we need a slap. Good thing we have nuclear weapons. But it doesn’t mean we don’t deserve it. Repeatedly. We don’t get to have everything. Not everything is on the menu. You are not being clever by offering something that is not a choice, you are requesting to be the recipient of the Slap Game.
Then again, if that’s what you want, be my guest. That’s always your choice.
