“Old Guys Rule” t-shirts are stupid
Shouldn't you be out oppressing a people or something? Oh, and way to support Livestrong with the bracelet - maybe they'll save one of your balls after you get cancer, you cigar-sucking choad.
I love funny t-shirts. They’re really swell. Whether they’re witty, ironic, or wacky, I love any shirt that can give me a chuckle. Sasquatch wears one that says “I listen to bands that don’t even exist yet” - great stuff.
But every once in a while, I see some aged, white tourist pud wearing an “Old Guys Rule” t-shirt. WTF? I know it’s supposed to be ironic, but guess what, IT FUCKING ISN’T. Old guys DO rule, and they always have. Ever since this miserable species sprouted legs, old guys have ruled with an iron fist, taking all the treasure and women that they could drag into their caves. Look at baboons and gorillas - even in the pre-evolved form of human societies the old guys rule. The dictators, prime ministers, presidents, sheiks, popes, inquisitors, ayatollahs, CEOs, bankers, and field overseers of the world have always been old guys, and they always will be.
So there’s nothing ironic about wearing a shirt around reminding the young and penis-challenged that YOU are the boss and they should bring you a sandwich or a few bushels of tobacco just for the privilege of being in your presence.
Tell you what, I’m going to start a new line of t-shirts that say “Old White Guys Rule.” We’ll see how ironic everyone thinks that is.
