Major League Baseball is stupid
The steroid problem is out of control.
Imagine you bought tickets to an MLB baseball game, but when you got to the stadium, the players decided to take the day off and hit the strip clubs. What would happen? That’s right: nothing. You’d still go in the stadium, still buy your $12 hot dog and your $16 beer, and you’d still get sloshed while your friends place bets on who can hawk the biggest loogie onto the field.
When you go to watch a baseball game, does it matter who wins the game? Of course not: there are 162 fucking games in the season. If your team loses a game, that’s okay – they have 161 games to make it up. If your team loses 82 games in a year (an entire NBA season), they may still make the playoffs. Last season the Dodgers racked up 78 losses (48% of their games) and clinched their division. Way to go, guys! Be proud, Los Angeles.
So how is it that fans go to the games day in and day out just to watch one essentially meaningless game after another? The answer is that they just don’t give a damn who wins. People don’t go to baseball games to watch baseball. They go to hang out, talk to their friends, gossip about which players are on horse tranquilizers this week, and drink away the pressures of the workday, the family, the SEC, or their mothers-in-law.
So stop pretending this is a real sport, guys. MLB has turned into the new WWE – the fans are drunk, the players are all on steroids, and no one cares who wins.
If these tranquilizers are good enough for a horse, they're good enough for me
Is that Barry Bonds or Serena Williams?
