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Posts Tagged ‘famous dipsticks’

Lady Gaga is stupid

May 29th, 2009 grimace 1 comment

lady-gaga-latex-1“I’m not trying to prove to anybody that I’m going to be here for 30 years.”

Don’t worry, darling. We have so little fear in that. We’re counting down that fifteen minutes of fame clock, so we can throw you back to the Long Island laundromat you’ll be working for the rest of your days, smoking an unfiltered Marlboro with your dark roots showing, adjust your flappy hooters in a latex tube-top, mumbling incoherently, “Do ya know who I used to be? Huh? Do ya?”

No, lady. And I don’t care. Give me the change for the dollar I gave you, or I’ll do my laundry somewhere else. And put on some goddamn pants.

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Matthew McConaughey is stupid

May 29th, 2009 grimace 4 comments
Yep. Lot of brainpower here.
Yep. Lot of brainpower here.

I really don’t know what offends me more - the fact that Matthew McConaughey comes across as dumb as a box of rocks in just about everything he does in either his real life or in his acting career, or the fact he has an acting career to begin with. This is not an intelligent man. He was arrested for disturbing the peace late at night, naked, stoned out of his mind and playing the bongos. Let’s repeat that. HE WAS PLAYING THE BONGOS NAKED. WITH ANOTHER DUDE IN THE ROOM. You know, I like my buddies just fine, and I like getting stoned with them just fine. I have never smoked so much shit that I thought, “You know what would really improve this little get-together? I should get naked and play the bongos.” No, that does not happen. Tommy fucking Chong has never smoked so much that such an idea would be considered a wise move.

And which one of you a-holes gave this man an acting career? I got it. He’s a himbo. He deserves as much of a career as Pamela Anderson. Got it. Chick lib and all that. But the problem is, his career is BETTER than Pamela Anderson’s. AND THAT’S JUST NOT RIGHT. Shame on you, Hollywood! Ghosts of Girlfriends Past? Failure to Launch??!? Have you no dignity, sirs? Do you go home, look in the mirror and start uncontrollably crying that your career has been based on marketing a dipstick like Matthew McConaughey? Well you should. You deserve every moment of shame and degradation at your high school reunion when you tell them what you do for a living, because you’re sucking Satan’s cock in Hell when you die.  May God strike you dead for the sins of Fool’s Gold.
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