Auto-erotic asphyxiation is stupid
It will be extremely disappointing if David Carradine is found to have checked out of this mortal coil doing something as flagrantly stupid as this. I don’t care what a person does behind closed door to get their jollies – stick your prig in cake batter, for all I care. But there’s no good reason to consider the idea of cutting off the air to your wind pipe while you’re tossing one off to the hotel stroke movie you rented. I don’t care if you start shooting out daisies and fireworks out of your penis while you do this, it’s JUST NOT A GOOD IDEA!
And the alone part – what the hell? It’s like those idiots who decide to go rock-climbing in the National parks alone – you’re basically making the decision – “You know, I want to be found dead today. No really, I do. But I want to be found in the most embarassing way possible – for myself, for my friends and family, oh and especially my children. I want the whole world to think I’m an idiot, and have a mental image of my dead body naked over a stroke mag while I got a curtain rope around my neck. THAT’s what I want to be remembered for.”
Why can’t celebrities just go fuck a hooker? I’ll even settle for a pre-op transexual hooker. Oh you all may have laughed when Eddie Murphy was caught giving a pre-op transexual hooker a ride home, but at least he wasn’t found by the housekeeping staff with his dick in his hand and his throat tied with a bowline knot. Kept him juuuuust fine for doing shitty Disney movies for kids. Because in the land of Disney, pre-op hookers is a-okay with Walt, but not choking your chicken while choking your chicken.
I am not keen to the idea of Big Dave Carradine checking out due to depression and suicidal thoughts, but is that truly worse than deciding to get his jollies off in an international hotel with a rope around his neck? JESUS, Dave! Buy an INXS album! THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE DOING!
