Reproducing is stupid
Before you read this, look around. For each person you see, 2 people made at least 1 horrible mistake.
Like many primates before them, humans reproduce not by laying eggs and leaving them to hatch the following spring, but instead carry the offspring for a 9 month gestation period (see also baboon and killer whale). This is contrary to the Platypus and the Tyrannosaurus Rex, which laid eggs.
Like the mighty blowfish, the female will quickly grow to several times her normal size, and also become emotionally unstable. Unless you’ve been breeding with a true champion, you’re going to have to find yourself someone else to do the yard work for about half a year. She’ll then quickly transform into a miserable cunt that you’ll want to throw into a woodchipper. Due to Federal Law it’s unlikely that you’ll take this route.
What seems like an entire lifetime, your now feral wife is going to crap out a screaming, hairless, bloody mess of a child that you’ll have to pay for every damn day for the next twenty some odd years. Remember when you were younger, and paying for a date sucked? The rest of your life is going to be like that.
In the best case scenario, the child is completely self sufficient by 6 months of age, hunting and/or trapping it’s own food. It will have learned the ways of the Native American, slaughtering buffalo and using every last piece, living off the land as a mancub.
Good luck with that.
